Such Is The Lagos Life!

Let me tell you about my first day on my first job. No...nothing "special" happened, just so you don't expect too much. But before I begin my little story, I will give you the chance to take a walk in my shoes so that you will see through my eyes and maybe understand from the standpoint of my mind.

I grew up in the laid back city of Ibadan, and for those reading this who also grew up there or have spent a significant amount of time in the ancient city, such people can bear me witness that about 15 to 10 years ago in Ibadan, no matter how early an appointment you had was, if you woke up by 6 am, you would have woken up early enough to arrive well ahead of time.

If you take this background I just gave you, and you marry it with this story you are about to read, then, you will understand by the time this story ends, how significant my first day on my first job turned out to be.

I had just finished my compulsory youth service (in another sleepy town up north), so you can imagine how excited I was when I landed my first job almost immediately. I was to resume on Monday the 5th of November, 2007; so I arrived Lagos two days prior and by Sunday evening, I was ready for my "big day".

I set my alarm to go off by 5:30am so I could leave home by 6:00am. In my mind, I was going show my new employers that no one beats me when it comes to punctuality. That night, I pictured myself once more at my new desk before I sailed off into dreamland.

And from my blissful sleep, I heard:

"Olumide, Olumide...wake up, it's 5:00 o'clock!"

"And so? I still have 30 minutes to sleep". I answered my brother-in-law, as I tried desperately to prevent the little sleep I had left in my eyes from falling off.

"You're going to be late mister, this is not Ibadan o!"

He said as he yanked the duvet off my curled-up body.

"If you don't leave this house by 5:30, you're not making it to the island earlier than 8:00 o'clock!"

I was stunned by what I just heard and still thinking he was exaggerating, I said: "wait, you're telling me this is how early I'm supposed to wake up everyday?"

So he said, patting me on the shoulder:

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it...such is the Lagos life!"

So reluctantly, I dragged myself out of bed; head foggy and gait wobbly, into the bathroom.

By the time I managed to brush my teeth, have my bath, get myself dressed and push myself out of the house, it was already past 6 o'clock.

While I was on the bike to the bus stop, I still found it hard to believe that a journey of a little under 30 kilometers could take more than an hour.

"Even if that traffic was sent from the kingdom of darkness, I can't get to work later than 8 o'clock". I assured myself as the bike stopped for me to dismount.

I was trying to pay the bike man when my eye caught the sea of commuters waiting at the same bus stop I was headed to.

I froze.

The bike man, reading the expression on my face said as he took his fare from my hand:

"Oga, e be like say you just come Lagos...no worry, e go soon master you. Na so Lagos life be o!"

I still couldn't believe what I was seeing as I joined the mob to hustle for the few available spaces on the buses stopping to pick up passengers.

By the time I squeezed myself into a bus, I had been punched, crushed, slapped and scratched. I was still seething from the pummeling when I looked ahead and saw the traffic waiting for us. At this point, I resigned myself to what had befallen me and I decided to catch the 30 minutes of sleep I had been denied earlier.

After what seemed like a long while later, I opened my eyes to look out of the bus, and maybe see how close we had come to the end of the 3rd mainland bridge. Behold, we were still at the same spot, rooted rigid like the rocks in the bed of river Ogun!

I got to my new office a few minutes before 9 o'clock and while I was still trying to recover from the emotionally excruciating experience I had in traffic on my way to work, my new boss called me to explain to me how the unit worked, and thrust me straight into work. Then he said:

"I'm sorry if it seems I don't want to empathize with you. Your experience this morning will only toughen you for the life in this city. Don't worry, you'll get used to it...such is the Lagos life!"

"I'm not ready for this", I said to myself

"I've not even had breakfast! But I'm not going to give a bad impression of myself on my first day on the job. After all, there have been times I made it through the day without breakfast".

At lunch time, I went with a colleague to the cafeteria where he revealed a few more things about the job and how to survive on it.

Seeing that the Lagos life demanded the toughness of a superhero, I asked my colleague if he thought the Lagos life was built for everybody. Then he said to me:

"impossibility is only as real as you make it. If you think you'll survive, you will; if you think you won't, you're right...Don't worry, you'll get used to it...such is the Lagos life!"

So a few weeks ago when a friend's younger brother, who also grew up in Ibadan, started lamenting about the repugnant routine on his new job and how he didn't think he was built for the Lagos life, all that I could think of saying to him were my colleague's exact words of many years ago:

"impossibility is only as real as you make it. If you think you'll survive, you will; if you think you won't, you're right...Don't worry, you'll get used to it...such is the Lagos life!”